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This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of my employer. In addition, my thoughts and opinions change from time to time. I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind. This weblog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed within out-of-date posts may not the same, nor even similar, to those I may hold today. All the characters, names and references to medical institutions and their medical experts and staff who treat or have treated me used in this blog are fictious. If some match those who are alive or dead, it is purely unintentional.-
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[...] In memoriam [...]
No words….
But this song, this song I listen to very often when thinking of my mom who left us to early too, some timeago under similar circumstances as Payter did…I will remember him, always, as a very special person. Josh Groban – To where you are: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uIQp9Dqcrw
Dear Peter,
we met the first time in 2006 when you become our manager in Italy.
I was a little scared about this because I was thinking that there could be a problem having as manager a person who comes from another country with different culture. But this was just what I thought for a minute.
Immediatly after our first meeting, I understood that I was very lucky, because I met a very special person.
We worked together for almost two years and they were my best professional years. I learned a lot from you from professional point of view but what I appreciate more is the human relation with you. you have been always kind, available to help, communicative, able to understand the problems of the others … in few words I always felt to know you from years and that you were one of us from ever.
What happened to you is terrible and we are very sad. We will never forget you and I will always remember last time we met in Amsterdam in April 2009. It was a great week end.
I would like to thanks Moling who was a wonderful wife for you. She did really a very good work and for sure you will protect her from where you are now.
A kiss from Italy from Loredana and Dario.
Ciao amico mio.
Dario
Onze grote en lieve vriend is ingeslapen. Rustig en waardig. De hemel zal nooit maar saai zijn. Wij zullen hem heel erg missen, maar sterk zijn, net als Peter.
Frits & Regine
Een brok in de keel
Het was te veel
Jouw wil en jouw gaan
Mijn alway smiling face
Raakt een dikke traan
Zolang ik kan zal ik je nooit vergeten
Oscar
Hey Payter !
I like the way you have mastered your life . Inspiring . Looks you got very close to optimal solution . I’m learning .
Robin Teply
You were a very good collegue and friend. We worked hard together in Brussels, and made a lot of fun. We are proud to have known you. You stay forever in our memories. Good trip my friend.
Hendrik & Magda
Wat kan ik zeggen? Diep bedroefd en gelukkig tegelijk, want wat was je een mooi mens en wat ben ik blij dat je een deel van mijn leven bent geweest.
Al die tijd in onzekerheid, al die tijd hoopvol dat het anders zou worden. Jij stond aan het stuur, jij was de baas over je eigen leven. Drie musketiers met een opdracht, samen tegen de wereld.
Ik was bevoorrecht om je te kennen en ben verdrietig dat het nu over is. Voor altijd in mijn gedachten.
Ron.
Dearest Payter,
I was not surprised to hear that you faced death with the same calm and dignity that you faced your illness. I will miss you and will never forget the inspiration you have been to me as i shared your journey. I have learned much from you. I will miss you dear friend.
RIP dear friend.
Jan (Sidmouth, England)
Exactly one week ago we visited Peter. We drank coffee and ate French Macarons. We said little, because we have share so much the last two years, that talking in fact was no longer necessary. We felt full friendship and love for each other. Gilbert and I told him that we understood him. That was a visible relief for Peter.
Wednesday evening we took with Marcus, as one family, farewell of this wonderful person. He gladly wanted that we also came the next day. So we have done this. We, Gilbert and I, will never forget how brave he took the control in hands this Thursday.
We both are back and forth swung between a sorrow of incredibly much pain and a feeling of resignation, because there will be no further suffering for him. These two years were enough. This last choice was one of the brave things, which he has done.
We appreciate enormously that Peter was beloved by so many people. All responses will give us strength to live further without this hero.
Marjolijn and Gilbert
Peter,
We hebben elkaar helaas niet zo lang gekend. na het afronden van je project bij Teleplan werd je al snel ziek. Ik heb je leren kennen als een fijne, maar zeker ook zeer kundig persoon. Zo wil ik je blijven herinneren!
Rust zacht.
Frido
Payter
Hoewel we het aan zagen komen was het toch een verdrietig gevoel toen we hoorden dat je op je laatste reis was vertrokken. Gelukkig waren we met een aantal collega’s ’s avonds bij elkaar om elkaar op te vangen, en hebben je gezamenlijk herdacht.
Ik zal je energieke persoonlijkheid en goede humeur zeer missen, en wens je vrede en rust toe op je reisbestemming.
Dank je voor je vriendschap.
Sander
Dear Payter,
I met you for the first time in 1998, when you became my boss. I started to admire you immediately because of your constant fights against dishonesty and silliness in the office. We soon became friends and partners in crime, although I never had the courage to be as rebellious as you. When you moved to Prague you invited me for a meeting. We contemplated life while watching the people on the square out of the window from the office and we concluded that life was good. This was the start of numerous evenings of fun and playing pool where we would discuss the joys and frustrations of life and work. At the end of such an evening we had to conclude that you had won (most of the times anyway) and that life was good. When I unexpectedly had to be taken into hospital in Dublin you came to collect me and escort me home, constantly making fun of me and trying to get me in a wheelchair, which I definitely refused. And I bet the Irish nurses are still eating from that massive box of ‘stroopwafels’ you brought. I celebrated my 40th birthday in your house where you and Jo cooked a wonderful meal for me. I’ll never forget how difficult it was to walk home because of the amount of food I ate. When you became ill, our bond of friendship became even stronger and I had the privilege of visiting you several times in the hospital and at home. We again talked about the past and the future, walked, biked, shopped, had lunch, but most importantly, laughed a lot as well. And you assured me that life was good. When we met for the last time, we sat on the couch and shed some tears, and I admitted that I was going to terribly miss you. When I left, we hugged and kissed and when we hugged and kissed for a second time, we concluded that it was good.
I would like to thank you for your fantastic friendship. Your drive, courage, humour and joie de vivre have been an example to me and will still be until I die. Please reserve a pool table in heaven for later.
Kus,
Frits
We, the parents of Peter, want to thank all his friends and colleagues for their support, visits, gifts, cards and mail Peter received during his sickness. We know for sure how much he has appreciated that all.
So, thank you very, very much.
deboppers.
Ciao Peter,
I knew you for the first time when I was employed in LogicaCMG and I will always remember you positivess and strenght. It was a pleasure to work with you, even for a little time.
“Death makes angels of us all
And gives us wings
Where we had shoulders
Smooth as raven’s
Claws”….
Just these few words from my favourite poetry, Peter, to wish you a very good trip.
Chiara
dear peter thanks for teaching me to smile always and never give up!
i will miss you so much…
Peter,
Je was een goede vriend, een van de weinigen die er toe deed. Een voorbeeld. We zullen je enorm missen, woorden schieten hoe dan ook tekort.
Remco & Tanya
Dear Peter,
We wish there were more people like you. The world would be a better place to live.
Good bye,
Milan & Monika
Payter
I’m so sorry to see you go. You fought so hard and well, and finally the cancer never stood a chance of beating you.
This quote from Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture sums it up pretty well, I think:
We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.
I wish you well, and send all my thoughts and deepest condolences to Monling and to your parents in their loss, as well as to all your family and friends around the world.
Kind regards, and with much admiration, from London.
Dear Payter,
I am writing this with more tears in my eyes than I would like to admit. Ten years ago you were my boss for a period of 3 years, during which I lost my parents, which was a very traumitic experience for me. In that period you broke all the CMG rules -which I realized only years after- and gave me all the space/time to return to a normal situation. I will never forget you telling (or should I say ‘ordering’ :-)) me not to return until I had everything sorted out. To this very day, I feel that that very warmth/sincerity was key for me to be able to survive during the most difficult period of my life. I owe you so much and you have been so special to me!
Ever after, we have kept in touch though I never told you explicitly how much this/you meant to me. I have come to known you as a friend and more-than-special person: the world would be a much-much better place with more Payters in it…
If you somehow are able to read this, please feel proud of yourself to have be such a truly inspirational and wonderful person to me and to so many others. I sincerely feel blessed and proud to have known you!
Monling, I wish you all the best and all strength in handling this loss. Payter was unique and let’s remember him with pride to have known him!
Hugs,
Taco
(and I would very much like to be informed for a memorial service on taq666 [at] msn [dot] com)
If someone is leaving even you know him half. If someone is leaving even if you’ve spoken with him so and so. If someone is leaving even if you hardly can imagen his further life. If someone is leaving years after you’ve met him on a wonderfull time on a boat trip. If you know someone full of ideas and wishes. If you know he’d lost life.
You had to know I had to cry.
Peter, take care up there.
Ferry Andoetoe
Bye Grumpy,
Remember that I used to call you that from time to time. When you were sitting behind your desk, with a deep frown between your eyebrows, because company-politics were trying to keep you away from your path ?! We laughed a lot and we could talk about the more serious things in life.
I feel privileged to have known someone like you. And I think this text (from “Wandrin’ Star” by Lee Marvin) suits you:
“Do I know where Hell is,
Hell is in Hello,
Heaven is Goodbye forever,
It’s time for me to go.
I was born under a Wandrin’ Star”.
Monling, Marjolein&Gilbert, your parents, I am sure you will take care of them, even though you are not fysically present anymore.
Caroline
Dear Payter,
I am sorry, I was not able to give you more support in last months than I did. I was reading your blog from time to time – not knowing what to tell you.
When you left the Czech Republic first time, you thought it was forever. I started to cry very strongly, when I got to know about it – I did not understand why. We did not know each other so well at that time, but I had a feeling that I am loosing a friend I will never ever see again. I did not understand, how you can live such life – leaving your friends again and again. Much later I understood – your friends were your worldwide family.
I will keep in my memories the discussions we lead and all nice moments we spent together. Thank you for being my friend. See you in a new life.
Adela
Payter,
last Saturday I was in London, getting off the bus in Trafalgar Square, and a man crossed my way: it was an old man with crystal eyes. We stopped each other and for few seconds we looked forward our eyes; you were there.
Last Monday, in Windsor, I was walking from the station to the hotel. I crossed few young people, seated on the sidewalk, dressing the school uniform. A lot of noise, laughter and rowdiness. This sound was familiar to me, I looked for their smiles; you were there.
Last night I was spleeping in my bed, at home, and I woke up because I felt a breath on my forehead. I smiled and went back to sleep; you were there.
I know you have been, you are and you will be with me forever.
Feel you soon,
Dodotto
Dear Peter,
Why do the brave en good guys die way too young?
That was my first reaction when reading your blog and saw Monling’s message that you had decided to step out of this life. I felt sorry and sad but it helped reading that till and including the very last moment you didn’t and was fully aware of the step you’d decide to take.
I will remember you as one of the finest collegues, people manager pursang. We had lots of discussions but even more lots of laughs. But even more you were my example of how to be human being, so friendly, dedicated, committed and in every circumstance I was sure I could count on you, no matter what time of the day!!
I find myself lucky and privileged to have known you for a couple of years.
Peter, take care buddy where-ever you are, most probably making new friends!!
In my heart you will be with me.
Monling, my condolences and I wish you the strength to deal with this huge loss.
Kind regards,
Martin Baan.
Dear Monling, although we never met, I would like to offer you my condolences with the passing of Peter. With sadness in my heart I read the news today on the website. I hope I can honor his memory with sharing some moments with you.
I have been with Peter to Japan in 2004. Shortly after I lost a young nephew of my age to cancer. He introduced me to Japan and we have had a week of many reflections on life, leadership, personal development and routes that you can take in life. I learned a lot from Peter in that week, with respect to choosing what to do in life. He coached me through my period in Japan. It became a turning point in my career. I started to choose more towards, what felt right in my heart. I stayed after the first week, while he went back to the Netherlands. I won’t forget that week. The introduction to Japan and the warm man, Peter is.
He actually showed me the hotel you both stayed when you just met. I still have that picture somewhere in my digital archive. He also took me to a temple to awaken Buddha and introduced me to some deeper aspects of the Japanese culture. Memories those are dear to me.
Last year after a period in which I changed careers and shortly after I lost my father to a brain tumor, I contacted Peter to meet up again and inspire each other. Unfortunately it never came to that. The e-mail I received back from Peter was so like my father; the way he could answer when he was sick. So very direct. That night I followed the link to the webblog of Peter and read a lot of his adventures. Through his writings I learned and understood more about what happened to my father in the last few months of his life. Which was a comfort to me. I actually wrote a little blog, mentioning Peter.
I will remember Peter as an honest, open and alive person who inspired others with passion. I am sure he will make me smile again some day.
For you I wish strength and good memories, sudden smiles when Peter seems to be there or when something reminds you of him. Knowing from first hand experience what a brain tumor and all the medication does to someone, I have the highest respect for you. Your words about sorrow, regret and fear truly touched me. I think the motto that my father adopted is true for you and Peter as well: “Live life, while you have life to live. Love, while you have love to give.”
Take your time in de-nursing and finding your own way again. (With Peter with you all the time)
With love, sincerely Jurjen