I again didn’t sleep very well last night but this time I also woke up early (6:30am). Sheesh! While staying in bed did I try to type an e-mail using my iPod Touch but the lack of a proper keyboard in combination with the horizontal position was too much of a challenge. I got up, fed the cats, made breakfast and went downstairs to the office. I was very motivated to continue with the Salesforce budget module and especially the reporting module. I love it when you’re able to see patterns emerge when running a report on life data. But spanners were thrown in my works, I became annoyed for all the bad reasons: good mood gone. I hate it when that happens. Waste of precious time.
Super Nurse called with an update. She had spoken with the Neurosurgeon and they had agreed that the headache must become less before I can be allowed to reduce the Dexamethasone. I told her about yesterday’s seizure and she told me that we handled it properly. My hand still feels weird but apparently a seizure may be like a powerful electrical shock that can have a paralyzing effect on muscles for a number of days. We agreed that a Dexamethasone reduction was out of the question, especially as also the headache has not become less. To be continued.
This afternoon a colleague came to visit me to help me with the following interesting scenario. To me it is evident that there is a reasonable chance that I will not reach my pension date alive but I do not expect to not make it through surgery. Nobody can predict which way I will come out of surgery and how much time I still may have left. We’ll have to wait for the verdict of the Neurosurgeon.
But I consider it important to prepare for my future (or at least my wife’s), to have control over my life. Actually, if you allow me to be very honest: the lack of carreer end that I hoped to have forces me to find ways to evaluate my personal success or failure in a different way. The scenario analysis is to demonstrate (or not) that all life that I have left in me can be enjoyed in a sufficiently relaxed way (financially) by both my wife and me and that my wife has no (financial) problems beyond that point. It is too early to tell what it is going to be but I feel somewhat relaxed about the initial outcome. The real number crunching still has to come. Thanks for your help Eric-Jan!
You can’t imagine how much time it take to get to the office from home having to use the public transport (instead of my car): almost two hours. First I have to take a walk to the metro station, take the metro to the railway station, take a train to the to the station nearest to my destination, take a ‘high speed’ tram to the tram station closest to my office and then walk with a dysfunctional leg to the office (15 minutes). Fortunately I have two colleagues that live in Amsterdam, one at a distance of 2 km and one at the other side of the city who are willing to pick me up from time to time. 
