A visit to our GP

My Neuro-Oncologist ordered me to have my blood pressure measured by my GP (General Practitioner or “huisarts” in Dutch).  My blood pressure is too high and Monling’s blood pressure is sometimes too low. So Monling made an appointment with this GP (who is a very nice guy by the way). He checked our blood pressures and they were fine. Very strange. Monling asked for a prescription for sleeping pills for me but I think she needs them more than me. The poor lass has been ’on duty’ 24×7 for more than one year now. She is often too tired to sleep without sleeping pills.

I almost wish to die to make things easier for her but since that’s too early, I’m keep myself busy with cleaning up my (study) books, music CD’s, my computers, my electronic parts, PC boards, my tool chest and other bits and bobs. I had already discussed euthanasia and palliative sedation with my GP (and Psychotherapist of the RCA) and at that he offered me to help me sorting out things. I have not done anything yet although there are some plans in my mind. I’m starting to get ready to define in which way I want to go. I hope everything will go the way I like it. I wish I could be a spider on the wall during my own funeral :-).

So much pain!

It is our wedding day today.

I woke up 3 times last night according to my wife, I remember only one of them. I was standing in an unknown room with white tiles and I had no idea how I got there and how to get out. Must have been our bathroom. Sleeping pills do strange things to me. What I do remember though were the horrible cramps in both legs. As if all muscles contracted at the same time. No matter what I did, no matter how I tried to relax and stretch the muscles, nothing worked. And this in both legs, front and backside. So much pain! 

Early this morning my hand started to throb while in the bakery, I couldn’t spread my fingers and I expected a fourth seizure. That didn’t come, fortunately. The uncomfortable feeling in my hand was there until late in the afternoon. I hope I shouldn’t take it as a sign that tumor has grown through the functional area of my right leg and is now nibbling at my right arm and hand.   

This morning one of our financial advisors, a very friendly guy, came to see me. He owns the company with which we closed and re-closed our mortgage deals, a long time ago when he had just three people working. His company has grown substantially and his life is good. A real self made man, nice car and filling every minute of his free time with scuba diving. I asked him for personal advice last week and today he came to Amsterdam to deliver it. Cool to see. We discussed my tumor and he was interested to hear what the medical plans were and then he discussed our mortgage and our options and he told us full enthusiasm that he would come by with a final proposal next week. He told us not to worry and so we don’t.

Around noon I had to go to the Physiotherapist but as I didn’t trust the situation with my hand did I ask my wife to go with me inside the hospital. I asked Wilfred for help with my muscles and the man worked wonders with his hands again. It was painful at times but well worth it as I felt the tension slip. Thanks Wilfred!

After the visit to the Physiotherapist we went to the market in Amstelveen and while we were there we looked around for signs of available real estate. There were several and we recorded their names. We will keep you posted of progress.

Carver

My friend Marcus invited me a few weeks ago to join him, his wife and some other friends to see the new show of a Dutch theatre group called Carver. I have been invited several times before and it is always great fun. The title of this show was “Gods waiting room”, it is about dementia and I was looking forward to it.

However, I had a bit of bad night last night with throbbing headaches (related to the edema I guess) and pain in my stomach (the Dexamethasone in combination with Keppra prove too much for the Pantozol). I woke up with a sock in my mouth. I didn’t feel like seeing the show. What a shame. Because as you can see on the You Tube video must it have been quite marvellous (sorry for the confusing music, you best put the Sonific player on mute for the duration of the You Tube video). I have decided to take a sleeping pill tonight. And later decided against it.