New Years DayJanuary 1, 2008
Today is the first day of 2008. Wow! I can’t help wondering whether or not I will be able to face and survive all medical challenges. And if so, whether I will be able to stay in control and in touch with reality. Perhaps my major concern at the moment is whether I still have the personality of before the ‘incident’. I believe that this is not the case. It is at this moment unclear to me whether it is just me thinking so or whether my wife, family, friends and colleagues think or sense the same. I make a mental note to monitor this and to regularly query those around me.
The first minutes of 2008 I spend with my wife. There were tears in her eyes, for many reasons. There is nothing I can say anymore that will soften the pain, frustration and worrying. We know that this is going to be a very difficult year but how difficult will difficult be? This afternoon we visited my parents with my sister and her partner for a New Years Day celebration. It was a well orchestrated and pleasant event with a lot of great food and great conversations. After two hours I felt very tired and we went home.