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Trouble at the mill

March 10, 2008

I was updated by my one and only remaining team member today on the situation at work. He just rolled out our brand new CRM (Salesforce.com) in Latin America and North America in two weeks. Remarkable. Salesforce.com is a hosted application and they offer fantastic opportunities for companies like ours. We could (should!) adopt strategies for information and module ownership that would make us sail through otherwise complex implementations. Unless .. you have a central organisation like ours.

The company I work for is however not the topic of my Blog, neither is the work that I do or the role that I have. But for a person like me, who has spend every minute of his life on his career, is it hard to see the difference in attitude towards me (past versus present). Is it tough to see that people have started to move around me rather than me moving them. Hard to accept that I’m no longer playing a crucial role. That I no longer have a decisive vote in matters. That despite of whatever they say my role is no more than a farce. And I can’t blame anybody for it except that bloody blob in my brain.

Today I received calls and e-mail from several good friends: Marcus, Roel and Adela. Although it was not a good day did I appreciate their concern, warmth and energy. It has become hard to return the favor. My wife told me tonight that I do not listen to her when she tries to help me. I must agree; to her and others it must look like that. But I think I do listen, I just don’t remember. It is the same with everybody else: my parents, my sister and my friends. I don’t remember because I don’t pay enough attention. I will try harder my dear, I will try harder.

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